Thursday, May 23, 2013

30b430 Goal #21 and #24: The Summer of Social Justice

Last year, I declared the summer of 2012 "The Summer of Jen." It was a good summer full of triathlons, swimming, going up north, moving into my new classroom, and tackling my goal list. I loved it and I could have done it again this summer, but I feel like something has been missing from my life this school year and I need to work on figuring it out.
I'm no depressed cat, but still!!!
Goal #21 from my 30b430 list was to get chosen for one more summer fellowship in another country where I am able to work with youth. I revised this goal a little when I couldn't find fellowships where I was able to travel and work with youth. I was tempted to apply for a fellowship in South Africa where I would study apartheid or a fellowship in India where I would examine education, but I wasn't feeling it.
I'm making another sweeping declaration for the summer of 2013: This is the Summer of Social Justice. I heard that the Freedom School in my town was hiring Servant Leader Interns. If you don't know what the Children's Defense Fund Freedom Schools are, I encourage you to learn more here. I got the internship, so as I round out my eighth year of working in schools and my seventh year of teaching full time, I'm going a little crazy and teaching full time this summer as an intern. I'm probably the oldest intern they have, but this work is so energizing. I have a feeling that this is what I should be doing this summer.
The summer is shaping up to be quite busy. I'm presenting on my master's thesis work with some of my favorite people at the Free Minds, Free People Conference in Chicago, working on turning my thesis into something more teachers can use, and I'm sending out inquiries about PhD programs (AKA Goal #24). I'm still on the fence about more graduate studies, especially after Sallie Mae got ahold of me a week after I finished my graduate degree:
I mean... I get it. I just don't want to get it. 
...but I'm thinking about it. 

So what's next? I don't know, but I don't think I'm ever going to settle down. 



5. Play the piano in front of people.
6. Visit my family in the Philippines (or at least have tickets booked by my 30th birthday).
7. Have a conversation with a dear Senegalese friend in French or Wolof (preferably Wolof).
8. Visit my grandparents in California.
9. Pop a champagne cork with no fear.
10. Make leche flan (it's Filipino, it's amazing, and I'm makin' it).
11. Jar or can veggies, pickles, sauce... something.
12. Revised 5/1/12 because I remembered that I'm supposed to graduate in December and my Master's degree is really important to me!!! Get my Master's degree and submit some of my academic writing and then, maybe, you know... get it published.
13. Travel out of the country with Nate.
14. Pay off at least 50% of my remaining undergraduate credit card debt.
15. Sing karaoke by myself in Kalamazoo in front of all of my friends.
16. Eat clean for one month.
18. Write at least one chapter of the novel that I write in my mind while I'm walking the dogs.
19. Thank my mom for everything she's done for me.
20. Go further into the UP than the Mystery Spot tourist trap and jump into Lake Superior.
21. Get chosen for one more summer fellowship in another country where I am able to work with youth.
22. Go on a police ride along.
23. Get to 200 blog posts.
25. Attend roller derby training so I can learn the moves.
28. Learn how to drive a stick.
29. Go horseback riding.8/8/12
30. Poach an egg perfectly.
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Sunday, May 19, 2013

30b430 Goal #10: The Leche Flan Experience

If you are Filipino, you've had leche flan at any number of special gatherings in your life including:
  • Christmas gatherings involving dancing with Filipino boys who are much shorter than you due to your biracial status
  • Birthday gatherings involving bocce ball 
  • Summer gatherings involving some kind of pork
  • Miscellaneous gatherings involving groups of women laughing very loudly while the sound of mahjong tiles clink in the background

I haven't been to a Filipino gathering in a very long time-- too long--but that is where many of my favorite childhood memories were made. In February, I decided to have my own gathering at our house so that I could:
 1) Beat the winter blahs by cooking all of my favorite Filipino dishes
2) Give my friends a taste of my culture
and the kicker (and goal #10)...
3) Make leche flan, a difficult dessert, but one that I LOVE

I decided to make a really difficult cake, one that I remember savoring at a few rare occasions: Layered chiffon and leche flan cake. "Woah, Jen," you might be thinking, "Don't you think that's a little advanced? You've never even made caramel before, let alone a cake from scratch!" There is nothing too difficult for a woman trying to complete her 30b430 goals, dammit! Plus, my mom taught me how to master lumpia ten years ago and I rock that recipe every time. 

Here it is... the Leche Flan Experience

I started with three recipes to figure out what I was doing: Recipe One, Recipe Two, and Recipe Three. This experiment in dessert making required me to do five things I'd never done before: Make caramel, make cake batter from scratch, make meringue, use a bain-marie (a water bath), and create an upside down cake. I'm not a dessert maker, but I can read and follow directions. 

I made caramel and coated the bottom of the cake pan with it. Cleaning the pot after making the caramel was a really annoying. There has to be a cleaner way to take care of that! After that, I made the flan. It called for A LOT of eggs, so I hoped that no one was watching their cholesterol. Or calories.  

I poured the flan over the caramel and started on the chiffon cake. This meant that I had to make the yellow cake batter first (turns out you can make that from scratch) and then meringue. Making meringue is fluffy and fun! 

From there, I folded the meringue into the cake batter and poured the third layer over the flan and caramel. Note the grated lemon peel in the background as it is one of my favorite smells. 

After that, I put the cake pan in a bain-marie. This made a REALLY HEAVY pan. However, as you can see, it was worth it. The cake came out a lovely golden brown. 

I wasn't done yet. It was time to flip the cake upside down.
I only nicked the corner of the cake when it came out of the pan for the win! I ate that little corner and it was delicious. That whole dang cake was delicious. 
Notice the time? I started around 10am. I have to admit, this is probably the best dessert I will ever make and well worth my time. I should have frozen a few pieces, but by the end of my Filipino gathering there wasn't any left! I guess I'll have to make it again... someday.

Here are a few more pictures from Filipino dinner. Friends, rice, and adobo not pictured because we were too busy eating. 
 Lumpia and pancit. I would post links to the recipes, but they are from my mom and they are in my head and on fragments of paper floating around my recipe notebook. I have to keep some things a secret!

I wasn't sure how to make pancit, but I followed my mom's directions and it tasted the same! Horizontal stripes are not flattering. 

Goal complete! 
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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

30b430 Goal #30: I Poached an Egg!

Is it really only 13 days until my 30th?
Geez. Good thing I've been slowly working on my goal list! I'd better start writing.

Today, I'm going to talk about something I did on a snow day with one of my best buds: I poached an egg. I realized why this task has always been so hard for me. I'm an extremely anxious person and it translates in the way I tried poaching eggs prior to this snow day. My method was to stir the water frantically, panic when strings of egg whites started coming off of the egg, overstir to compensate, and the break the yolk. Now I know the key to poaching eggs: Patience and calm. Duh. 

Step one: Read blog posts about how to poach eggs. Go to your friend's house and get started! 

Step two: JUST LET THE EGG SIT IN THE WATER. Stop touching and messing with it! Geez.
Just relax.
Step three:
Hell yeah. 
Step four: Point at your poached egg with a mix of joy and wonder on your face.
I can't believe it! Thanks DWebb!
Step five: Make it look beautiful on your plate. 
I should have made hollandaise!
Voila. I can poach eggs, as long as I set my anxiety aside. Goal complete!

5. Play the piano in front of people.
6. Visit my family in the Philippines (or at least have tickets booked by my 30th birthday).
7. Have a conversation with a dear Senegalese friend in French or Wolof (preferably Wolof).
8. Visit my grandparents in California.
9. Pop a champagne cork with no fear.
10. Make leche flan (it's Filipino, it's amazing, and I'm makin' it).
11. Jar or can veggies, pickles, sauce... something.
12. Revised 5/1/12 because I remembered that I'm supposed to graduate in December and my Master's degree is really important to me!!! Get my Master's degree and submit some of my academic writing and then, maybe, you know... get it published.
13. Travel out of the country with Nate.
14. Pay off at least 50% of my remaining undergraduate credit card debt.
15. Sing karaoke by myself in Kalamazoo in front of all of my friends.
16. Eat clean for one month.
18. Write at least one chapter of the novel that I write in my mind while I'm walking the dogs.
19. Thank my mom for everything she's done for me.
20. Go further into the UP than the Mystery Spot tourist trap and jump into Lake Superior.
21. Get chosen for one more summer fellowship in another country where I am able to work with youth.
22. Go on a police ride along.
23. Get to 200 blog posts.
25. Attend roller derby training so I can learn the moves.
28. Learn how to drive a stick.
29. Go horseback riding.8/8/12
30. Poach an egg perfectly.
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Sunday, April 28, 2013

30b430 Goal #12: Get my Master's degree

It's been a few months since my last post, but I've been busy working on finishing this goal:
Teachers don't make a big enough deal when they get advanced degrees. It's a big effing deal. 
Since January of 2008, I've taken a class every Fall and Spring semester at Western Michigan University in the Socio-Cultural Studies of Education program. In the summers, I traveled for school or work, wrote curriculum, read for school, and planned future writings. It's been hard, but rewarding. How people do this when they have kids is beyond me. Seriously. I applaud those people. When I finally turned in my final paper, I felt like I'd birthed a mind baby:
My bulky final paper manuscript
My program made me a better thinker and teacher. It made me see the possibilities of my intellect. It helped me articulate my social justice lens on life and teaching. I've read thousands of pages, written more papers than I can count, and presented at national conferences... all in addition to teaching middle and high school English full time. Do you guys know what it's like to try and grade 130 research papers while writing your own? If you're an English teacher trying to be awesome at grad school and your job you know how much it sucks. I feel relieved and excited for what comes next. 

One of the many reasons I walked at graduation was because my little sister was graduating with her Bachelor's. The timing happened to work out perfectly-- I was supposed to finish in December, but I dragged my feet and ended up going for one more semester. Throughout the day I felt like a proud mama... I kept looking at her and tearing up, remembering when I took her to Freshman orientation, when she moved into her first apartment and asked me how to make a hamburger, when she told me she wanted to be a teacher, when she first observed me in my classroom, when she asked me for help on lesson plans... it was so emotional! What a beautiful moment. Our Dad would be so proud.
I don't know what's next for me besides teaching, but I've got some tricks up my sleeve. I wouldn't be so ambitious, driven, and motivated if it wasn't for my mom and the Hubs:
I'm a lucky lady.

After the ceremony, we got ready for a chill backyard celebration. The weather was perfect-- we had the best day we've had in months, the Hubs built me a beautiful fire pit for graduation, and Ranger IPA was on sale. 
 
It was an amazing night with my favorite people and a warm fire. I'm glad we made it a big effing deal.

It feels good to be done. 
Now it's time to lose the ten pounds I put on this semester from sitting in front of books and the computer and eating my feelings. Back to triathlon training! It's been too long!!!! 

5. Play the piano in front of people.
6. Visit my family in the Philippines (or at least have tickets booked by my 30th birthday).
7. Have a conversation with a dear Senegalese friend in French or Wolof (preferably Wolof).
8. Visit my grandparents in California.
9. Pop a champagne cork with no fear.
10. Make leche flan (it's Filipino, it's amazing, and I'm makin' it).
11. Jar or can veggies, pickles, sauce... something.
12. Revised 5/1/12 because I remembered that I'm supposed to graduate in December and my Master's degree is really important to me!!! Get my Master's degree and submit some of my academic writing and then, maybe, you know... get it published.
13. Travel out of the country with Nate.
14. Pay off at least 50% of my remaining undergraduate credit card debt.
15. Sing karaoke by myself in Kalamazoo in front of all of my friends.
16. Eat clean for one month.
18. Write at least one chapter of the novel that I write in my mind while I'm walking the dogs.
19. Thank my mom for everything she's done for me.
20. Go further into the UP than the Mystery Spot tourist trap and jump into Lake Superior.
21. Get chosen for one more summer fellowship in another country where I am able to work with youth.
22. Go on a police ride along.
23. Get to 200 blog posts.
25. Attend roller derby training so I can learn the moves.
28. Learn how to drive a stick.
29. Go horseback riding.8/8/12

30. Poach an egg perfectly.
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Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Thank You, Liz Lemon*

The last episode of 30 Rock is on Thursday and I don't know if I've ever felt so emotional about the end of a TV series. I feel a special attachment to the show because it helped me through two hard years of my life.

Let me explain. 
In the summer of 2010, I spent a month in Senegal. I've written about it a lot and I loved my time there. At twenty-seven it was my first time traveling abroad. Ever. It was one of the best experiences and opportunities of my life, but from it blossomed a great contempt for my former job as a teacher in a large urban public high school. I'll come back to that later.
When I got home, I was overwhelmed by everything. I've read that this is a common feeling amongst people who have traveled to developing countries. I felt disgusted with my town. Why were there so many choices? Why couldn't I just walk outside of my house to a stand and buy a loaf of bread? Why did I have to get into my car, drive to Meijer, and choose from one hundred different varieties of bread? WTF? I was experiencing major reverse culture shock.
I spent a few days curled up on the couch trying to figure out what my problem was. When I couldn't pinpoint my issue, I turned to Netflix to numb my brain. There it was. Five seasons of a show I'd never really bothered to watch: 30 Rock. I spent the next two weeks working my way through every season. I loved the show. I liked the way it made fun of so many things that were bothering me. Like so many ladies, I saw myself reflected in Liz Lemon-- so much of Tina Fey's writing felt like an inside joke between her, awesome women who love food and work too much, and me.
Then summer was over and it was time for me to go back to school. The way I looked at schooling and education was totally changed after my research into the schooling systems in Senegal. Try as I might, I couldn't stop comparing the two. It seems so crazy, right? Yet, there were so many similarities. It got harder and harder to educate-- no, to school-- my students. I saw myself as part of a system that was participating in their oppression. I saw them doing the same thing to themselves and I knew it was time to get out of there. There was no way I could ever create real change if I became an insanely bitter teacher who ended up being negative all the time. What was the point? 

Guess what was there to make me laugh during my late evenings of job searching?
I wanted to make my job work. I threw myself into school, got involved in a cultural exchange that took me back to Senegal with students, and buried myself in grad school research and writing. The summer of 2011 looked promising. 
My second trip to Senegal was kind of a spiritual, emotional, and cultural disaster. I've never really figured out how to write about it, although I'm sure anyone who read my posts from that trip could tell it was stressful. This trip was only two weeks long, but it felt like two years. As soon as I grabbed my suitcase off of the baggage carousel and threw myself into my best friend's car I started crying uncontrollably because the experience left me feeling like a total failure as a teacher and mentor. On a lighter note, another reason why I broke down is because someone was mowing their lawn and I just didn't get it what the point of it was. Reverse culture shock strikes again! Why do I do so much better when I'm in a country? I never have culture shock, just the reverse. 
30 Rock to the rescue again! When the school year began I decided to get it together--Liz Lemon style, filled with neurotic behavior and sarcastic one-liners-- and find a new job. 
The rest of my last year teaching in the public school was hard, but I woman-ed up and made it the best I could. Now I'm in a job that is much healthier for me emotionally and physically. Was my job change due to 30 Rock and the influence of Liz Lemon? Do I spend too much time watching TV shows and trying to find ways to use them to placate the low points of my life? Maybe, but let's be real. I didn't quit my job because I saw something new in the world or because I watched too much 30 Rock. I was just unhappy. 
Maybe I spend too much time with media, but sometimes something comes along that just helps you (aka is cheaper than a therapist). That's what 30 Rock did for me and I'm going to miss it.

*Yeah. This post professes my love for 30 Rock and Liz Lemon and it might be the only time I ever even touch on any of the reasons why I left my old job. Oh well!
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Friday, January 11, 2013

Thank you, Universe

I'm not a religious person anymore, but I'm very spiritual. I'm a big believer in nature, karma, and balance. Although I've learned over the last few years that the mantra, "You get what you give" isn't necessarily true, I still believe that there is always balance. Things have been balancing themselves out quite well lately.
The day before we were supposed to leave for Christmas with my family, my transmission failed. Of course... things like that always happen before major holidays, right? My car was not drivable and the Hubs' truck is not for road trips. I curled into the fetal position as soon as I was told how much a transmission costs and posted a sad sack Facebook post about probably not going home for Christmas. It'd been months since I'd seen my mom and I had been looking forward to our family being all together for the first time in a long time. I was feeling pretty low.
As soon as I posted the status, a relative of a friend messaged me and said we could borrow their hybrid, no worries. I'd been thinking that we would have to stay home because we didn't have money to rent a car for four days. Letting us borrow the car was one of the nicest things anyone did for me in the last few years. Plus, my transmission failed in our driveway instead of on the highway. We borrowed the car,  made it to my family Christmas, and all of my siblings were together again. It was awesome.
Last week, one of my favorite people gave me an airfare voucher so I could visit her in Florida over my spring break. I've spent the last six spring breaks with her and I was looking forward to a seventh, but when I called to schedule my flight they said the dates I wanted to use were blackout dates and it was a no-go. I went searching for a ticket so I could go on my own, but prices have crept up to almost $700! I was bummed. I resigned myself to staying at home, reading, and working out.

A few days later I checked my email and there was an email from travelzoo.com with their top 20 travel deals of the week. In my last blog post, I revised The List and talked about how I probably wouldn't meet my goals of seeing my grandparents in California or buying my mom a ticket to California. And how interesting... one of the travel deals was a 48 hour sale on round trip tickets to San Francisco from the airport I use. My grandparents, aunt, and cousin live outside of... San Francisco. The tickets were so cheap I was able to buy two: One for my mom and one for me. Although I won't be on a beach soaking up the rays in April, I will get to see my grandparents before they move back to the Philippines! It's a good trade-off.
I can't wait to see them for the first time in six years. 
One of my favorite things to say is, "We'll see." When I'm trying to make life decisions, things are going swimmingly, or things are going horribly in my life, I respond in a number of ways: I curl into the fetal position, I cry, I dance, I eat candy, I laugh, I smirk, or I say, "We'll see." It's probably a coping mechanism, but you really never know what is going to happen. Even though I sometimes dread the future, I mostly enjoy waiting for what is going to happen next.
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Sunday, January 06, 2013

30b430 Update and Revisions!

I haven't revised The List since May. I think it's time for some updates. 

Goals I've Completed!
10 out of 30 complete and as I've said before, the goals I've completed got me out of the biggest life funk I've ever been in. If I stopped working on the list now I'd be satisfied. :)
18. Write at least one chapter of the novel that I write in my mind while I'm walking the dogs. 11/2012
I completed this goal, but I didn't write about it because I wasn't happy with the product. Writing a chapter is harder than I thought! It's done though and safely stored in my Dropbox, thanks to inspiration from Nanowrimo (National Novel Writing Month).
29. Go horseback riding.8/8/12
I never posted about this goal! This experience went from being terrifying to really cool. I got to spend time with a few amazing ladies, brush a horse, feed some goats, and ride a John Deere around in a field. Haha! I never pictured myself doing any of those things. Here are a few pictures:
Pam, the woman who gave me a riding lesson let Deann and I hang out with the animals before I rode. She said that grooming a horse lets you build a bond with it. 

You can see the fear on my face. This horse was as old as me so I felt like we were meant to meet. I feared she would be as stubborn as me, but we got along just fine. 
In the end, I did it and it wasn't so bad. I could tell that Pam really loves her horses and that appealed to my love of animals and made me more comfortable. 

Goals with a Plan:
I know I'm getting these done sometime in the next five months! 
5. Play the piano in front of people.
7. Have a conversation with a dear Senegalese friend in French or Wolof (preferably Wolof).
9. Pop a champagne cork with no fear.
10. Make leche flan (it's Filipino, it's amazing, and I'm makin' it).
11. Jar or can veggies, pickles, sauce... something.
12. Revised 5/1/12 because I remembered that I'm supposed to graduate in December and my Master's degree is really important to me!!! Get my Master's degree and submit some of my academic writing and then, maybe, you know... get it published.
14. Pay off at least 50% of my remaining undergraduate credit card debt.
15. Sing karaoke by myself in Kalamazoo in front of all of friends.
16. Eat clean for one month.
21. Get chosen Submit applications for one more summer fellowship in another country where I am able to work with youth.
22. Go on a police ride along.
23. Get to 200 blog posts.
25. Attend roller derby training so I can learn the moves.
28. Learn how to drive a stick.
29. Poach an egg perfectly.

Goals that Might Have to Wait Until I'm IN my 30's Due to Finances :(
It's disappointing, but the travel goals are probably going to have to wait a few years. Believe me when I say that they WILL get done. C'est la vie!
6. Visit my family in the Philippines (or at least have tickets booked by my 30th birthday).
8. Visit my grandparents in California.
13. Travel out of the country with Nate.
19. Thank my mom for everything she's done for me. (I wanted to do this by buying her a ticket to California or the Philippines. Until then, I will keep giving her love and props for helping me become who I am today!)
20. Go further into the UP than the Mystery Spot tourist trap and jump into Lake Superior.


Five months until my 30th!
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