Thursday, December 02, 2010

3066 North Michigan and the Wilderness Downtown

My friend Joe showed this to me the other night and I am in love with it.

Before you watch the film, it asks you to enter the address of the house you grew up in. Of course, I entered "3066 North Michigan", the house I was born and raised in. The house I lived and loved and was loved in. I watched it and was reduced to a sentimental mess.

The lyrics to the song "We Used to Wait" by Arcade Fire go perfectly with my feelings about the house.
You have to listen to it if you're going to read it. 

I used to write, 
I used to write letters I used to sign my name 
I used to sleep at night 
Before the flashing lights settled deep in my brain 

But by the time we met 
By the time we met the times had already changed 

So I never wrote a letter 
I never took my true heart I never wrote it down 
So when the lights cut out 
I was left standing in the wilderness downtown 

Now our lives are changing fast 
Now our lives are changing fast 
Hope that something pure can last 
Hope that something pure can last 

It seems strange anekatips 
How we used to wait for letters to arrive 
But what's stranger still 
Is how something so small can keep you alive 

We used to wait 
We used to waste hours just walking around 
We used to wait 
All those wasted lives in the wilderness downtown 

I'm gonna write a letter to my true love 
I'm gonna sign my name 
Like a patient on a table 
I wanna walk again gonna move through the pain 

Now our lives are changing fast 
Now our lives are changing fast 
Hope that something pure can last 
Hope that something pure can last 

When my family was packing up the house and setting up the estate sale I never went to say goodbye to the place. Sometimes when I go home, I take a route that will take me by the house. I want to knock on the door and ask the new family who lives there if I can check the bathroom door for our height marks. Sometimes I park my car at the playground that was almost attached to our backyard and I sit under the tree that is next to our old fence and contemplate how old I am now compared to my former self. This song made me feel all of those things.

It's not the house I miss.
We were a family of six, then five, and sometimes it feels like it's just four.
We played softball in the backyard and set up bases with rocks and ratty sweatshirts.
We made mud cookies in our hideout under the pine tree and set up sleeping bags on the work bench.
We dared each other to jump off the roof onto patio furniture cushions.

We drew our names on the red cement at the foot of the deck with rainwater and watched them disappear in the summer sun.

It was pure.

Ashleigh, Sky, and Chris... I love you.

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