Yo Dad, I Miss You

My dad died on this day fourteen years ago. It really and truly sucked. 

I feel differently with each anniversary. Last year hit me really hard for no particular reason, just because. It doesn't matter if the year is even or odd or in five-year increments-- some years I cry like a baby over every little thing that happens this day, some years I feel more calm, some years I eat my feelings... it all depends. 

This year to reflect on this day, I'm going to use a poetry form I used to use when I was a teacher with all ages because it works all the time, even when you're adult. :)

Yo Dad, I miss you.

I wonder if you'd like Donald Trump's presidential bid and how our discussions over his idiocy would sound.

I hear vaudeville or Gershwin or even the people singing on Prairie Home Companion and my chest aches.

I see new movies that blow my mind and wish I could watch them with you.

I want to give you one more hug. 

Yo Dad, I miss you.

I pretend I know more about you than I do.

I feel like you forgive me for my selfish teenage ways. 

I touch old pictures on this day and wonder what we'd look like together now.

I worry I'll forget more about you as each anniversary passes.

I cry when I see old round men with white hair and gentle facial expressions wearing suspenders.

Yo Dad, I miss you.

I understand now why you stressed the importance of family.

I say I'm fair to middling sometimes when people ask how I'm doing, just like you did.

I dream you've met Nathan and you love him too. 

I try to whistle as well as you. 

I hope you'd be proud of me if you were here. 

Yo Dad, I miss you.

Peace and love to you,

Jen