Monday, November 18, 2013

Sure*

-Howard Thurman
This is my last week as a classroom teacher for--hopefully, positively, and definitely-- an indefinite amount of time. I've taken a job as a program coordinator for a non-profit organization and I couldn't be happier about this career move. However, my teacher identity is inextricably entwined with my Jen identity. I wonder what's going to happen, but I'm not very worried. The teacher identity will always be here. This is a risk, but it's what I want and I feel sure. Sureness is one of the best feelings ever, and one that I-- the queen of self-doubt-- hardly ever acknowledge.
[source]
I'm not very emotional about the career change. When I left public school for private school I cried for a week. It happened as soon as I left my interview for the private school. Then, every song with a slowish beat on the radio made me burst into tears. It was ridiculous, but I've always put so much stake into my teacher identity. It's time for something different and I've known it for awhile.  The lack of emotion--except when it comes to leaving my lovely and extremely lovable kiddos-- is what makes me sure. Who wouldn't shed a few tears over leaving those amazing students? The kiddos will know where to find me.
Oh, I'll have work to do at home, but no more grading at home? I'm intrigued. What is it like?
Yesterday, I read a blog post called How to Be a Teacher for More than Five Years Without Killing Yourself or Others and it moved me. How I wish I would have taken the advice in this post years ago. However, even if someone would have sat me down to give me this advice-- and I'm quite sure my mentor Ryan did-- I probably wouldn't have listened. As I pack up my classroom, I wonder if maybe I've just burnt out, but I don't feel burnt out. Not to compare a career I love and have built over the last eight years to a small shirt, but maybe I've outgrown classroom teaching. That too-small-shirt feeling makes me feel sure too.

 What's next? 
Wish me luck, my friends. 

*Am I back to blogging? I don't know. I hope so! I'll work on the banner change if I decide that I'm going to write more often than every few months. I just felt the need to write today. ;p

2 comments:

BroJoe said...

Lots more of this?> :-)

Oh my gosh... what will we have to talk about? Are you outgrowing me?

Ms. H said...

Are you kidding me, bro? Heck no!

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