Thursday, February 20, 2014

Un-ladylike and Proud

Trying to be ladylike has always perplexed me. I have a mental file folder of the times when people tried to make me feel bad about not being ladylike. 
Well, eff those people. 
Case in point: College, upstairs apartment living. The first time of many that a stranger looked me in the face and accused me of being un-ladylike. I often stomped up the stairs to our apartment because I'm always stomping somewhere. It probably didn't help that I wore Doc Marten boots with thick soles. Anyway, I was stomping up the stairs to grab something and stomping down the stairs to get to work when I was confronted at the door by the Tiny Blond Woman Who Squatted at Her Boyfriend's Apartment Under the Stairs. Here is an excerpt from our conversation:
Me: Me? 
Me: Yeah?
TBWWSAHBAUTS: You are CONSTANTLY STOMPING up and down the stairs like an ELEPHANT. WHY hasn't ANYONE taught you how to be a LADY?!
Me, attempting to be meek: Sorry.
TBWWSAHBAUTS: Just be more of a LADY!!!
Me, heading out to my job on a line: Otay. I'll try.

Well, eff that lady, and eff trying to walk softly and be a lady.
I saw this video today about being un-ladylike and it made me so happy:
There are people out there just like me! 

I recently had a week of run-ins concerning my un-ladylike antics that made me feel like maybe I should try to be more of what a lady is expected to be. Case in point (number two): I was attending a fancy party said week that housed a buffet chock full of lobster tail, fried green tomatoes, and handmade gelato, so I was already feeling unable to control my foodcitemnet. I was--seriously-- planning out my plate-by-plate attack of the delicacies on the buffet. I was sitting by strangers (all men) and they were all shooting the breeze and talking about things I don't care about (sports, helicopters, blah-blah) while I ate a plate of fried green tomatoes and two lobster tails. I was also trying to sneak out my phone to take a picture of my plate. Here is the conversation that followed:
Helicopter Man: Slow down there killer.
Me: Why? 
Helicopter Man: It's not ladylike.
Me: You're ladylike. I'm getting gelato. 

So there.

I've been focusing less on apologizing for who I am and what I do and more on just enjoying who I am. I want to be the old woman lady with the wild long white hair and unapologetic opinions. 
Lipgloss. My favorite kind of makeup. 
...don't wear makeup and don't care if I ever start.
...wear flannel pajama pants with hole-y and stained t-shirts when I go to the grocery store.
...sometimes have dirt under my fingernails. wearing a backpack instead of a purse.
...enjoy a good gin on the rocks. in an unattractive fashion because food needs to be in my mouth.
...can't keep heels on for longer than thirty minutes.
...don't care what you think.

According to Santogold:
Try to hold a light to me
I'm a lady
Got my mind made up


Allie said...

Man, eff all of those people so hard. There is nothing more I hate than being called unladylike, because people say it with the expectation that you care.

I want to say, "Screw off, being ladylike is nowhere on my to-do list today or anytime in the near future. But how 'bout you work on not being an asshole!"

do_it_ajen said...

Exactly. It's weird that so many people comment on it. And most of them are ladies! *clutch my pearls!*

Bro Joe said...

I too, have often been called "unladylike." I offer solidarity to you on this issue.

Unknown said...

It's possible that this post made me fall a little bit in love with you. Just sayin'.

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